amphora and failure

Last week while I was at Staystack, I decided to cast a couple amphora designs that I had wrapped with raised William Morris like wallpaper designs. I thought this would be cool to come back and engrave over the top of or it reminded me of looking through my microscope and seeing these enlarged scrolls as I have been practicing engraving. 

It's interesting how an entire idea can go sideways when you start making something using an artistic approach to making rather than an linear engineering approach. Everything that could go wrong during the process went wrong. First I wasn't married to the forms and didn't really fully commit to these when I was modeling them. They were interesting, but not THAT interesting or maybe a better word would be "surprising". There has to be something surprising to keep my interest going and these kind of fizzled out. 

Then I went to invest them and they were a nightmare. I had to have core pins and I had to fill the interior first and then pour investment around them. My vents collapsed from the weight of the investment inside and then I had to redo them; it was a mess! Then I made my vents too short as I just wanted to be done. Then I finally got them invested and when I poured them I used a couple of metal ingots that I thought were bronze, but it was a brass alloy instead. The tops of the pieces didn't turn out due to the short vents and the alloy caused cracking everywhere due to the thick and thin areas. The pieces looked more like urns than I wanted. It was a complete wash. 

Sometimes this is exactly what is needed to make a piece though. Sometimes I need something to push me into an area of uncertainty to get me to respond to the moment. That's what being alive is about; responding in the moment to adversity. How will I handle it, how will I respond, will I have faith that I'll come out on the other side better than I went in, or will I become a better person as a result of the situation? Everything I make has the same potential IF I don't throw it in the trash bin or give up. 

Well yesterday I took one of the pieces to the plasma cutter and started piercing the low areas of the relief in the top section. I also played with engraving some of the areas and I enjoyed this. I liked it yesterday, but today I hate it. This is part of the process and some objects make it through and some don't. However, I learn from all of it.  If I'm not failing then I wonder if I've gotten too comfortable in the process and I am missing out of something.

So it the object sits on the bench today. I may have to let this sit for a bit but it gives me time to think and reflect and then hopefully respond.